半夜发现家里有小偷，我紧张得呆在床上不敢动，甚至还有点期待他在我家里搜出点钱来。
In the middle of the night, I found a thief at home. I was so nervous that I didn dare to move in bed. I even expected him to find some money in my house.
瘦小离家胖了归，乡音未改肉成堆。儿童相见不相识，惊问胖子你是谁。
Thin and small, leaving home fat, native voice has not changed, meat piles. When children meet, they wonder who you are.
头这么疼，一定是有人在压榨我的智慧。
I have such a headache. Someone must be squeezing my wisdom.
人生没有跨不过去的坎，只有跨不完的坎。
There is no barrier in life that cannot be crossed, only the barrier that cannot be crossed.
人们都说陪伴是最长情的告白，其实长得好看是陪伴，长得丑就是纠缠。
It is said that company is the longest confession of love. In fact, being good-looking is company, and being ugly is entanglement.
我本来想今年结婚的，但是我跑到民政局排了一天队，他告诉我结婚要两个人，搞得我一下子就迷茫了。
I wanted to get married this year, but I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to line up for a day. He told me that it took two people to get married, which made me confused.
儿童节向我要红包可以给你，但是，过几天父亲节，你要是不送，可就别怪爸爸翻脸了。
Childrens day to me to red envelope can give you, but, in a few days fathers day, if you don send, don blame dad turned over.
很多人觉得自己活得太累，实际上，他们可能只是睡得太晚。
Many people think they are too tired to live. In fact, they may just sleep too late.
活着好累，身边所谓的朋友都是为了钱才接近我，每天对我说得最多的一句话就是：什么时候还钱？
Its tiring to live. The so-called friends around me approach me for the sake of money. The most common sentence they say to me every day is: when do you pay back the money?
我不是懒，我就是忙得不明显。
Im not lazy, Im just too busy.
爱，一门非常深奥的课程，我只拿了结业证。
Love, a very profound course, I only took the certificate.
枯藤老树昏鸦，空调WiFi西瓜，葛优同款沙发，夕阳西下，我就搁那一趴。
Kuteng old tree faint crow, air conditioning WiFi watermelon, ge you same sofa, sunset, I put that one lie down.
北风吹，秋风凉，谁家娇妻守空房，你有困难我帮忙，我住隔壁我姓王。
The north wind blows, the autumn wind is cool, whose lovely wife is guarding the empty room. If you are in trouble, I will help you. I live next door. My family name is Wang.
做坏事早晚都会被发现，所以我们要中午做。
Doing bad things will be found sooner or later, so we have to do it at noon.
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