我家老鼠病了，我给它吃了老鼠药，希望它能好起来。
My mouse is ill, then I gave it rat medicine. I hope it will get better.
记得有一次，看到一个老爷爷提了很重的东西，我就想帮帮他，结果一时心急说成了：老东西，爷爷帮你提。
On one occasion, when I saw an old man carrying heavy things, I wanted to help him, I said ina hurry: old man, grandpa will help you.
我今天吃了一个糖醋排骨，那个糖醋排骨好奇怪哦！它没有糖，也没有排骨。
Today, I had a sweet and sour pork ribs. its so strange! That sweet and sour pork ribs has no sugar or ribs.
你知道星星有多重吗？八克，因为星巴克。
Do you know how heavy the stars are? Eight grams, because of Starbucks.
听说睡觉手机放枕头旁边有辐射，吓得我赶紧起来把枕头扔了，吓死我了。
Its said that your cell phone will radiate to your body if you put it next to your pillow, so I threw the pillow away.
如果你要拥抱我，请提前告诉我，我要把我的小肚子收起来。
If you want to hug me, please tell me inadvance that I want to put my little belly away.
一定要记住那些晚上陪你聊天的人，就是因为他们，你脸上才长痘痘。
Be sure to remember the people who chat with you at night, because of them, you have acne on your face.
和前任分手的时候，白天倒还好，可一到晚上就抑制不住内心的感情，一个人蒙在被子里笑出了声。
When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend(ex-girlfriend), I was fine during the day, but at night I couldn control my inner feelings, and then I laughed under the covers.
也许的爱情迟到了，但更有可能的是，出车祸了。
Maybe your love is late, but more likely, it had a car accident.
图源来自网络，侵权致歉，谢谢！
